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Dec. 7th, 2009 @ 06:20 pm Poem in progress Nov 2008
I've been reading
and
re-reading
your recent email
and I can't decide
why the phrase "glasses off"
is so hot.

Is it because I hear it as an instruction
that I might give?

Take your glasses off.
Close your eyes and turn your cheek.
Tilt your chin.
Up.
Here.
Unbutton that ridiculous plaid shirt.
So I can see the force of your heart
under your thin skin.

or
is it because vulnerability revealed
begs further damage?

She thinks so.

She comes on summer heat slow
tracing the seam of my lips
snaking her slippery little fingers along my spine
and into my hair.

She is the part that has to be tightly controlled.

My cannibal queen.

Reclining in the jacket of my ribs.
Ignoring my grip on her wrist and
Flashing her tight thighs and
sharp white teeth at me.

She's nameless -
my pet shark-
twisting in the dark water of my belly.
No Sedna here
no Kali no
no Jezebel-Lilith-Eve
but
with her sadistic whimsy.
her biting nails and wet red mouth.
her steel mercy.
she'd wreak havoc just the same
if given half a chance.

Indulging her,
or,
more recently,
losing my hold on her,
is always devastating.

She shreds the pages
of my civilized life
then skips town
in a flurry of paper
leaving only my
starry eyed heart
to make
the bleary apologies
in the bright mornings after.

Thankfully

she requires only

cyclic vigilance.


----
Bah! This is not successfully conveying the urgency it needs to. It needs work and the last long stanza is utter crap.
Mixed mythologies!- fix this
About this Entry
DeadPirate
Dec. 2nd, 2009 @ 01:04 pm Unsent letter number 527
I haven't heard from you in weeks but, yesterday, I did get to listen to a recording you made for some local poetry reading. So that's all right. Long live the interwebs.
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DeadPirate
Sep. 15th, 2009 @ 07:58 pm Malcontent
I miss my bitter broken boys. The endless grinning darkness to match my own. All nails and teeth and twisting heat. My loves are soft and bright and tender these days and I am so tired of their yielding sway.
About this Entry
DeadPirate
Aug. 4th, 2009 @ 11:41 pm PA travelling
Driving along the muted, two-lane, lightless highway through the lush and rolling stonybackbone land I saw

A sign for the Land of Makebelieve. A sign for the world's biggest animated wooden sculpture.
An overgrown Denny's sign claimed by swift and merciless trash wood.

A stand of bullrushes. A stand of pines. A stand of rhodedendron in a hundred acres of elm.

A field of rusted locomotive engines behind a truck garage in the middle of nothing.

One elk. One hawk. Two ravens in a dead evergreen.
An ocean of corn, an endless wave of pinkwhite clover, and a galaxy of fireflies after sunset.

Three wooden crosses in a calvary field and the bloody sun.

The sharp grey bones of the earth cutting through the thin soil.
Deep green and blue-tipped cut valley struck with river after river and winding swamps.

A ponderous but friendly stormcloud that kept pace with us for 300 miles and made the day pleasantly overcast.

Fire in the western sky along the I80 corridor.

The soot-broken hull of a sailless barn by an abandoned farm in a sea of wheat.

And listening to Concrete Blonde and Amanda Palmer and Cherry Poppin Daddies and Dave Matthews
and 60s beat and Melissa Etheridge and countryradiobibletalk,

And smelling cattle and pigs and horses and sweet summer hay,

I felt the road's vast unfolding, holding the country full against my broken heart and bursting at the seams.
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DeadPirate
Jul. 1st, 2009 @ 01:39 am Something was not quite right in Noblesville
I finally finished my half of the KyleCassidy project that I will be exchanging with pceflwrgrl. I'm not entirely happy with it but I did use about 15 different techniques/media I haven't used before, so that was fun. Now to complete the piece that pceflwrgrl sent to me! Super excited!

So here it is. Mixed media storyboard showing the strange events going on in Noblesville at Townhouse 26, a members-only club. Featuring Rudimentary Abe, the club's librarian, ballerina EMS worker, and Joe, the chief of the Noblesville Fire Department. After pceflwrgrl gets it, it will be up to her to decide what's going on in the story; to add details; to subtract details;  to change it up entirely; or do whatever else she wants with it.




Below are some detail pics and some making-of pics if you're interested in that sort of thing.

Details



 

Making Of


Bringing image out of transfer and inking the reality burnouts
 

Rooting the hair and ballerina drying
 
Drying Rudimentary Abe (without mask), carving mask, drying mask
   



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DeadPirate
Jun. 12th, 2009 @ 11:37 pm Ugly Kid Joe
Music is a gateway.

I was putting away laundry tonight, listening to the radio, and Ugly Kid Joe's I Hate Everything About You came on. First I was laughing and then, suddenly, I was crying as this enormous wave of sense memory crushed me. Fresh cut grass, baseball lime, sun, the rough wood of a busted picnic bench under my bare legs, and music. I remember sitting in the park on a hot, July afternoon with my best friends listening to z100 on someone's tinny little boom box with that song playing.

Katy was there and she ended up loving the shit out of that jam. Of course. She always had a soft spot for terrible pop rock. Winger, Slaughter, you name it, she loved it. And this song was so bad but so catchy that we listened to it all summer anyway, tooling around our little town and generally being hooligans.

It will be seven years this August and sometimes Katy's death is still so fresh. And I think of how unfair it is and how unreal that she who was the best of us, is really gone, and that those of us who are left are scattered now and distant.

How I miss you all tonight and wish we were together again, driving with the windows down and the summer air pouring in, blasting some crappy, catchy song, and singing along at the top of our lungs. Salut, my absent friends. I will always love you.

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DeadPirate
Jun. 3rd, 2009 @ 12:49 am (no subject)
Working on a new mixed media project courtesy of K(f)C's version of 6 degrees, which is awesome. But my older projects, including the newly neglected, half-finished music box and the legless crocheted cat, are giving me a variety of sad and reproachful looks. Aww, guys! I'll be back in July.
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DeadPirate
May. 15th, 2009 @ 02:18 am Self portrait in glass


Lit by laptop.




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DeadPirate
May. 13th, 2009 @ 10:15 pm Toys
This is what I do when I'm not doing other things. In pic below are the following in various states of repair:
frigid bunny (3 scarves!); ninja rabbit (still needs LED eyes); Sheep 1.0 (also needs eyes);
Scraps the yellow-headed step-Fraggle; Apocalypse Pig; heart monitor (in wire);
and Cat Head (soon to be cat w/ body).




In addition, previous softies include disturbing grin Dolphin:




and Kodama, based on Princess Mononoke. If you had audiovision, you'd be able
to hear the authentic tree spirit rattle he makes when you shake his head
(rattle comprised of two pebbles inside small plastic egg from a quarter bubble gum machine)




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DeadPirate
May. 13th, 2009 @ 03:55 pm Twitter and Access
I've been playing with Twitter for about a month. It's useful for spreading information and keeping in touch and it's often entertaining as well. For example, there are a number of well-known authors and musicians who use the service, which offers them and their fans an unprecedented level of reciprocal access.

Detractors obviously have the same access. On this note,  I've been noticing that some artists react with terrible swiftness to silence and/or shame their naysayers and I've been wondering why that is. Why would one give a negative commenter exactly the attention he or she is looking for? Why would one move to quash the expression of differing opinions? 

Is it fame-related or inherent? Perhaps there is some underlying insecurity that remains no matter how wealthy, well-known and accomplished the person is. Maybe it's that any disagreement, no matter how mild, seems unbearably loud in comparison to the constant background hum of routine adulation and therefore must be addressed immediately. Maybe it's simply a challenge to do so or a change of pace. Or, maybe it's none of these.  In any case, it's a curious phenomenon.
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DeadPirate
May. 10th, 2009 @ 02:22 am First Amendment Field Trip
No NYC at dawn today. Woke up at 4am to rain and thunder. Lame. Moving right along...

A couple of days ago I was driving on the Sprain Parkway and I saw a busted pumphouse of some kind at the edge of a lake. It looked unstable, abandoned, inaccessible, and broken so, of course, it went on the short list of buildings I absolutely had to visit. After it cleared up today, I decided to drive back out along the parkway to see if I could get to it.

On the up side, I was able to find it and shoot it. Sort of.

GrassyLake Pumphouse Test


On the down side, well, there were a few. First, I had to shoot this building across the parkway with a zoom lens because there was just too much traffic to cross over today. (Pics sucked accordingly). Next, I apparently caused all manner of commotion trying to take these pictures. Last, I got to experience the many pros and cons of being a girl.

Con- A lot of fuckwit guys hollered at me as I was walking along the parkway. (One guy in a van actually pulled over, which was creepy, I'm not gonna lie. Thankfully, he left after I ignored him. God I hate people.)

Pro- Once the State Trooper showed up, he was more than happy to talk first and harass later. I think I actually saw "what the fuck are you doing" change to "howdy, miss" as it registered with him.

Based on my charming chat with this surprisingly sympathetic State trooper, I found out that many, many people who saw me taking pictures across the highway freaked right the fuck out. (Really, people?) Apparently, taking pictures at or near reservoirs sets off alarm bells because of 9-11. Of course, 9-11 didn't involve an attack on the NY water supply ... but I suppose one never knows. After some light banter, toothy smiles, and other demonstrations of my exquisite harmlessness, I told the nice officer that I would pack it in and come back with a permit from the County.

Based on my discussion with the trooper (and one concerned citizen who wandered over and told me I essentially looked like a terrorist) I decided that I really needed some kind of photography bona fides.

I present: RebelPhoto T-Shirt for NY photogs and wanna-bes like myself.
On the front, it reads "I AM A PHOTOGRAPHER. NOT A TERRORIST."
On the back... the text of the 1st Amendment.
Voila:www.cafepress.com/RebelPhoto.385166799#





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DeadPirate
Apr. 24th, 2009 @ 03:26 pm Post Surgery
My gf knows me so well. She knew the only post surgical instruction I'd definitely ignore would be the one about  "no hot showers for a week."  So, before she left for work today she apparently cracked the bathroom window at the top. Just a little. My plan for a long shower enveloped in relaxing steam became a confused hunt for the mysterious draft. And I'm still a little out of it so... it took a good long while to figure out what was going on. Oh well. I suppose it's for my own good.

As a general matter, I highly recommend detachable and/or adjustable shower heads. *sigh*
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DeadPirate
Apr. 20th, 2009 @ 10:12 pm Insomnia



This is what I do when I should be sleeping. Trying to build a miniature mechanical heart to go with my wire heart monitor figure.

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DeadPirate
Apr. 16th, 2009 @ 11:37 pm Random tidbits

Lying on his belly on the deck of the pitching ship, the sniper lays his cheek against the rifle stock. - Check out the NYT article describing the Navy SEAL seige on Somali pirates in the kind of sensual terms that affirm America's deep and abiding love for that sweet sweet justifiable violence.



Overheard in an elevator at work.

Girl Smoker: Well, they have a good medical program there and I was looking into that.

Boy Smoker: <pause> Dude. ... If you were a doctor, I would never let you work on me.

Maniacal laughter.

Also, trying to turn my outdated tower into a server. That's all for now.

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DeadPirate
Apr. 15th, 2009 @ 01:48 pm Now with Viagra!


Random Spambot wrote:

"boost your belove couch experience with aid blue tablet.
medicinal effect gtd.. good bonus for every sale
link for you"

This is the result of terrible market research.
I mean, really. If you're beloving your couch, chances are you have problems that the little blue pill cannot fix.

Also, I'm seeing alot of Viagra references lately. Is that coming back?
If it is, here's my contribution. A link to DIY Viagra using watermelon = is.gd/sBk9

It's not as dirty as it sounds.

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DeadPirate
Apr. 14th, 2009 @ 09:57 pm And now for something completely different
So, I was gonna write about sex, and drama, and open relationships, and friends with benefits (because these are the things that distract me when I should be working) but the last two hours of document production fried my brain to a crisp. Also, my computer tells me it needs eleventy-billion fking security updates. So, it will have to wait.

In the meantime, a picture of kitten acrobatics for your viewing pleasure.

Photobucket

Kneel before the cuteness!
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DeadPirate
Apr. 10th, 2009 @ 11:04 am How big is big enough?

Here's the best enlargement spam I've received in a while. It's classic advertising. First the company sets up insecurity in the buyer by reinforcing gender stereotypes, then it offers the product as the solution. It's almost poetry. The only problem is that I'm not exactly sure whether the product on offer is a bigger cock or bigger pants. Perhaps just a stronger zipper.

"Ali Pool wrote: Women don't love you for who you are...they love you for what you have.
Whether you travel West or East your pants will always hold that beast.
 Inviting you to click"
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DeadPirate
Apr. 9th, 2009 @ 10:49 pm Travelogue- London (soon with pictures!)
I have a penchant for wandering off alone and getting lost. (I am the person for whom portable GPS devices were intended.) Maybe this is because I stuck relatively close to home as a kid. I had a neighborhood in the traditional sense of all the kids played within earshot of the 6pm call for dinner. If I wasn't playing baseball in the sideyard, I was hiding out with a book under the giant honeysuckle bush at the end of the block .

I got the itchy foot bad in my early teens. When I was 13, I wandered off to see Poison (shut up) at Nassau Coliseum on a lazy afternoon and I ended up getting stranded on Long Island. I spent the night driving around with a 20-yr-old cabbie with a worse sense of direction than I while my warring parents reunited to plaster my picture across the 11 o’clock news and blame each other for my behavior. But that’s a whole other story. Anyways…

I love to travel and I travel quite a bit for work now. Whenever I do, I try to take at least a few hours to wander around on my own with my camera. I like to get a feel for new places on their own terms. Sometimes I drive, but mostly I go on foot.

In December 2006, I went to London for the first time. The trip was balls to the wall meetings in and around the market and client outings, which were essentially eating, partying and drinking. I had about two hours to sightsee with the other associates on Sunday. We ran through Harrods and saw Big Ben, Westminster, the Eye, fountains, statues, and fat pigeons,  but I had no time alone.

In the very early morning before our flight, I spent about an hour walking around our building in the frigid damp taking terrible pictures made sickly yellow by the pervasive sodium arc lights. As I was meandering around, too wired to sleep, another associate kept a weather eye on me while she smoked her contraband Romeo y Julietta.

I didn't get a very good feel for the City at the time. Hustling between endless handshakes in concrete rooms, I got only a glimpse of her grey skies and red chimneys, the famous Wall, the little alleys so narrow you could just about stretch out your hands and touch the storefronts lining either side. The 15th century churches, empty courtyards, and embellished everything - lampposts, benches, buildings, just, everything. I had the sense that I could fall for her if we only had a little more time together but she remained out of reach. And then I was off.

I finally went back in April 2008. I got in with a day to spare and threw my arms around the City as hard as I could. I spent ten free hours walking her streets, admiring her bridges, and gaping like an idiot at her architecture and, in the end, I felt like maybe London loved me back a little too.
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DeadPirate
Apr. 8th, 2009 @ 01:22 pm New stuff at flickr

New nonsense www.flickr.com/lunggwai

From the NY Botanical Gardens Orchid Show (soon w/ text!) and another visit to ye olde broken down shack.

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DeadPirate
Apr. 2nd, 2009 @ 12:00 am (no subject)
Made this CD mix for a friend's b-day. Mostly inside jokes. Dueling b-day mixes. i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd62/lunggwai/cdart.jpg

In the process I dug out all my cds, tore through itunes, and ended up getting back into Nine Inch Nails in a big way.

Got a little nostalgic actually and considered calling Shaef and telling him to throw aaalll the halos on the changer. But didn't. It was 2am by then after all and I do have some self-control.

Eventually I got time to check the net and there is so much new NIN! Albums. Tours. Twitter for fuck's sake. But it was synchronous (synchronicity?) really. I was looking for some adventure, a diversion, and something to do with my rainy-day, buy-something-special, congratulations-on-not-smoking money I've been squirreling away.

So I bought a ticket to NIN/JA for Jones Beach in June. !m!

I probably, well definitely, paid too much. But at least I'm going. The only person I really wanted to go with is not going to be around so I'm going solo.

Last time I was at Jones Beach was maybe 8 years ago. Hanging out in the sand after dark w/ chums. Dodging a park ranger and other troublemakers. Listening to Brittney Spears, or some similar pop, echoing off the walls of the distant theater.

I'm planning on combining the show with a photo walk. Google earth sez there's a skeletal boat in the marsh by one of the beaches. I'm gonna try and find it.

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DeadPirate